- There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race and finish the farce.
- Few of us can stand prosperity. Another man’s, I mean.
- It ain’t those parts of the Bible that I can’t understand that bothers me, it is the parts that I do understand.
- Only a government that is rich and safe can afford to be a democracy, for democracy is the most expensive and nefarious kind of government ever heard of on earth.
- What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce.
- Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
- A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
- A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.
- It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.
- Honesty is the best policy – when there is money in it.